There are many individuals today will find themselves in position that they never thought they would be in. Either a job has downsized or they have been let go. A relationship has changed drastically because of health, aging or ending. A child is grown and you are now in an empty home.

There are so many stages in life in which we do not anticipate happening that we find ourselves standing on the ledge on what we knew and feel like we have been pushed off not knowing where we are going to land.

It can be a frightening and emotionally overwhelming place to be. It is not easy to grasp that life as you have anticipated it to be has changed. In this world of constant change and intense bombardment of information from all forms of media and communication you were hoping the one thing that would be constant is your life.

Well your life as you know it has been altered forever. For some of you it is about your integrity and your belief in yourself. For some of you it is about your ability to control the emotional changes. What ever it is you are going through it will not be an easy journey for a while. I know that going through change is not easy at all. I have been in so many personal changes in my life that it makes me empathetic to individuals who say their lives have been altered by situations out of their control.

What I can say to you is this. Is yes at first this looks like a curveball that you did not expect. Take the time to heal. Find a friend. Seek counseling. Give yourself time to be able to look at yourself and  know you as a person are not defined by your career, family or relationships. You are defined by who you know yourself to be. Everyone makes mistakes. We sometimes hold ourselves to such a high standard that no one in the world can match it.

Learning the difference between healthy emotions and unhealthy emotions is very hard especially if you believe that you are bad-period. What has happened to you may indeed be life altering but you are not bad. You may have done something that is a deal breaker but if you did not do something willfully it is still considered an error.

Learn from your mistakes. Do not blame anyone. Heaven only knows you may be beating yourself up so badly that you are not eating or sleeping. Give yourself time to heal. Go over your past accomplishments and experiences and feel the good and remember who you are.

Time getting to know yourself may not come easy especially if you are reliving the  moment over and over again. This part of the experience is similar to having a head injury you just repeat over and over again your past mistakes or what you might have changed. Life just is. When you can come to terms with the steps necessary to move on take them.

One thing  I know for certain is that people who love you do not stop loving you through hard times. People who believe in you will prop you up. People who are not there for you never were in the first place. Hard lesson in life but it is there. Believing in yourself and forgiving yourself is the way to begin starting over.

You cannot move forward and start over if you stay stuck. Our conscious is there to guide us. However if you are stuck you will not move to the next step in your life.

I will discuss tomorrow how to continue to believe in yourself . Life has many stops along the way. Detours in life are always there. If you feel that your life has fallen apart well maybe it has however its how you brush yourself off and pick up the pieces to move on will serve you better than just dancing on the broken pieces of yourself. You can start over. We all can.