The last few months I have not posted has included some life changing positive moments and some life changing moments that created a significant timestamp on my life. The most powerful moment in my life changed in February when my mother died.
Life has a way of changing our perception and this was a huge emotional awakening for me as I am sure it is for those of you who have lost a parent. I am in a new club of adult orphan. I no longer have a mother or father on this planet to go to for advice. One thing that is for sure is that I did everything in my power to make sure that I was there for my mother when the time came.
December of 2012 I had been focused on travel I spent time that past year.I was attending “A Date With Destiny” Seminar in Palm Springs, California the week of December 1- December 8, 2012. I had been changing up my life and asking for my life to change. I was working on my life and fears. I decided to investigate what stops me from living the life I know I can have.
In the end I realized it was the limitation that I gave myself and no one else. It is funny that I did not realize I would be working on those powerful techniques I had studied as soon as I finished with my workshop on December 8, 2012.
I was on my way back from Palm Springs and had a connecting flight to Newark(EWR) at San Francisco Airport (SFO). I was reaching to to turn on my phone. As soon as it was on it rang. I looked at the number it was my brother calling me from Del Rio, Texas. My mom had fallen and from the description of her fall I said to him , ” Mom has fractured her hip. Call 911 immediately.” I knew that it would not be a good for my mom at her age to have such a fall and a tremendous break.
I continued home. I was already getting ready to call out at work and make plans for my turn around trip to Del Rio, Texas. I looked up all the flights and you know things do not work out the way you want them to when it is an emergency situation. I called a few friends and one girlfriend, Yvonne to be exact. said to me,” USE YOUR MILES!” Oh how could I be so dense at this time. I used my miles and flew to see mom right away. She did not look well. I stayed for the weekend and came back. The following weekend I was flying to Madrid to see my son.
It was the Wednesday night before my flight to Spain and the phone rang. It was the physician who worked on my mom and stated her surgery needed to be redone. I questioned the physician on why. Her response was not satisfactory. I spoke with my mom who said, “Go to Spain and give my grandson a kiss.” I was in Madrid and my son and were enjoying our time together tremendously. We kept track of our journey through countless pictures, train tickets, metro cards and receipts. I wanted to share with my mom as soon as I returned to the US.
I came home to New Jersey and made travel plans to Texas. When I arrived I took one look at mom .She was not in a good way. I stayed again for the weekend. My mom was always saying I spent too much on travel and tickets to come to see her. Spoken like a mom. After a quick visit I went home.
I was talking to my mom on February 10 and said to her “Mom I love you and remember I will be there Thursday.” Mom repeated back twice “I love you. I love you too.” Only I would end up being there on Tuesday not Thursday. February 11, 2013 I received the phone call I knew I would receive one day. I just did not want to receive it. It was from a nurse who was incredibly compassionate.
Of course all the phone calls began. I found my son right away in Spain. My son reminded me to use my credit card and use the service they provide for flights. I used my United Mastercard and it was definitely worth the price I pay for yearly membership. This woman worked miracles she found flights from various carriers that would put my son and I in Washington, D.C. at the same time and make the connecting flight to San Antonio together. It was the kindness of a stranger on the plane who gave up his seat so my son could sit next to me on the flight to San Antonio. The rest is a rather surreal experience with the service and packing up my mothers things at home. The only things we wanted were her photos and a place setting that she had for silver. This is my mom ,Odilia, in her finest in New York at Central Park, back in the day.
So where have I been? I have been in a very reflective state. I am really very blessed to have been able to see my mother so often. I am really very thankful I have the ways and means to be able to make this all happen.
I am very happy that I have had a good relationship with my mom. I know that not everyone has the same type of relationships. It was not always a relationship that was harmonious we had to work at it. In the end I realized that my mom did the best she could. I could write a book about that but who couldn’t.
We really only have one set of parents a lifetime. We may have people in our lives who love us like parents and they are gifts in our lives. Gifts that we can carry in our hearts forever.
I know that I appreciate the fact I had recorded all of my moms messages that she left on the phone. One I love is the happy birthday that she sang to my mom for his birthday. These are the small things in life that we treasure.
Life is one big journey. Never forget what is important in your life. Keep moving and life stops for no one. I know that to be true more so now then ever before. Travel well. Stay healthy and go out and tell someone you love them. Peace to you and enjoy the ride.
I almost forgot. My mother gave me her jewelry before she died. I put it in a really safe place in July 2012. I could not remember or find it for months. I cleaned my house and it is so organized now it is bizarre. I found my fathers dog tags from WWII and other treasures he had from the war. I found my back stage passes from when I worked in the music industry and letters from college. Ok I found other things but where is the jewelry. Well after Mom died guess what happened. I found it in the kitchen.I looked there countless times and cleared all the cabinets. I know I did not put it there. There it was. So maybe she left the earth but, she has not left me. Amazing. Mom’s do the most loving things.